I miss him

There's not much to say other than the title.

I miss Marcellus. I miss him every day. Every. Single. Day.

Missing him is just part of my daily routine. It's there, but I don't feel it intensely. But then there are the moments where it is more raw. I feel his absence in my entire being. I feel that tonight.

I feel it in a way that it seems so surreal. Surreal that he was here. Surreal that he is gone. Surreal that I am an infant loss mom. That I have a dead child.

I carried him, birthed him, heard him cry, held him, kissed him and yet he is not here.

He is not here. 

And damn, do I miss him!

Marcellus, I will always miss you. Every day of my life I will continue to miss you and wonder about you. I love you, forever and ever and always! xoxox