My gmail keeps telling me I’m almost out of storage
But don’t they know that I can’t just blindly delete the
past
Don’t they know that inbox holds a snapshot in time
Of when you were alive
Of what my life was like when you were in it
Don’t they know that’s all I have of you
… a snapshot.
Such a short moment in the amount of time that is my life
That every piece of evidence of your existence
Or of what I was doing during your existence
Is priceless
I thought to myself that I’d clear some emails out
Thought it would be quicker to go oldest to newest
And just bulk delete all those emails from years and years
ago
But I was wrong
It wasn’t quicker
Because it caused me to freeze
Even trying to do the “Promotions” first
I froze when I saw that email from baby center
The email I starred to come back to later for a discount on diapers
And then my frozen self froze even more when I saw
An email I sent asking for help enhancing your photos
So brief was the snapshot of your life that it quickly
turned in to the eternity of marking your death
Asking for help to fix the color of you in the moments immediately
after your death
Help for the only photos I have of you without tubes and
wires
Help me treasure these photos of my dead baby
Help me makes sense of this aspect of my life
Help
