Don't they know

My gmail keeps telling me I’m almost out of storage

But don’t they know that I can’t just blindly delete the past

Don’t they know that inbox holds a snapshot in time

Of when you were alive

Of what my life was like when you were in it

Don’t they know that’s all I have of you

… a snapshot.

Such a short moment in the amount of time that is my life

That every piece of evidence of your existence

Or of what I was doing during your existence

Is priceless

 

I thought to myself that I’d clear some emails out

Thought it would be quicker to go oldest to newest

And just bulk delete all those emails from years and years ago

 

But I was wrong

It wasn’t quicker

Because it caused me to freeze

Even trying to do the “Promotions” first

I froze when I saw that email from baby center

The email I starred to come back to later for a discount on diapers

And then my frozen self froze even more when I saw

An email I sent asking for help enhancing your photos

So brief was the snapshot of your life that it quickly turned in to the eternity of marking your death

Asking for help to fix the color of you in the moments immediately after your death

Help for the only photos I have of you without tubes and wires

Help me treasure these photos of my dead baby

Help me makes sense of this aspect of my life

Help