Nonsensical Time

The days blend
One into another.
Then
        Now
                When?
Distinction lost
Within the grief.
The past is the present.
The future never to come.
Locked, stuck in today.
Today that is
Today that was
But what is today?
What was yesterday?
When is not
What was when
When your heart is dark
When grief swallows light.
When what was is not
When who was is no more
When 12 days will be all there ever was
And grief swallows time
Spits it out crumbled and incomprehensible
When I blink time flashes
Then I blink again and time feels like sludge
With no in between
Only nonsensical time.