Grief Math

 Nine days until his 12th birthday. 

12 - the number of days he was alive
12 - the number of years without him

Make it make sense that he's now been gone the same number of years as the number of days he was alive.

12 x 365 + 3 - 21 = 4,362

12 years
365 days in a year
3 leap years
21 days until the anniversary of his death

All brings me to 4,362 days without him. 

Multiplying by every year that passes by to mark the increasing number of days since he's been gone. 
But the number of days he was alive will always be 12. 

12 exciting days
12 nerve-wracking days
12 beautiful days
12 love-filled days
12 intense days
1 worst day of my life.