Little Brother

 I have been a bit MIA, but there is a good reason for it.

Marcellus's little brother, Ethan Michael, was born on December 18th at 3:37am after I went into preterm labor in the early morning hours of December 16th. I have so much to write about, the amount of emotions we have been going through is insane. The ups and the downs. We are in the same NICU where Marcellus was. Ethan is very small, much smaller than Marcellus and was born at 8 days earlier gestation.

For now I will just briefly explain what happened  and how Ethan is doing. I don't think I am quite ready to navigate all the emotions I have been going through.

On December 16th, 2012 I woke up at about 2:30am and knew something wasn't quite right. I was crampy with a backache...that same backache. If it had been my first time feeling that way I probably would have waited it out and not called right away. But because of my labor with Marcellus I just knew. I knew this wasn't normal. We went into the hospital and got to Labor and Delivery at 3:30am. Sure enough, I was having contractions. We of course instantly freaked out. I was only 27 weeks 4 days, like I said 8 whole days earlier than when Marcellus was born.

Doctor found me dilated to 3-4 cm with a bulging bag. Immediately they started me on medication, magnesium sulfate, to stop/slow down the contractions. I started getting the steroid shots for Ethan's lungs. I had gotten a dose of steroid shots three weeks prior because my cervix had started to shorten. The first goal was to keep Ethan in long enough for the steroids to start working. It seemed impossible.


But he waited. He waited until 48 hours after we had been in the hospital. He got his full dose of steroid shots. I was able to deliver him vaginally and he came out crying! I got to see him right away, something I didn't get with Marcellus. Ethan weighed 2 pounds 5 ounces at birth and is 15 inches long. He  is doing as well as he can be. He did not need to go on the vent. He is on the bubble cpap.

Ethan Michael

Mommy holding Ethan for the first time.

While he is doing well, we are so very scared and concerned. We have been down this path before. Marcellus was doing well before he got sick, so the doctors and nurses know there is nothing they can say to calm our fears. They are very supportive though and understanding when we are worried or ask what might be ridiculous questions. Ethan just has to come home. He has to. I'm trying to have faith and be hopeful that he will, but it is so overwhelming.

Ethan of course is such a blessing. We are so happy we have him. But it also makes that ache for Marcellus a bit stronger, especially being in the place where all our memories with our first born son are. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. I have started a CaringBridge site for Ethan to keep people updated on how he is doing. The website is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ethanlennon. I will try to work on it more today. As of right now it is just set up, but doesn't have much on it.

Marcellus, you're a big brother! Your little brother Ethan is so very precious. We love him so much, just like we love you so very much. You two are quite different. Our two beautiful sons. We miss you so much sweet baby boy. We have already told Ethan a lot about you and he will always know and love his big brother. We just can't believe we are back in that NICU. Back to where you were. We are still a bit in shock right now. Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. When we hold Ethan we can't help but think of what it was like to hold you. To love on you. We miss you! We love you! Having Ethan does not change that. You are always our first born son, you are always the big brother. Ethan is lucky to have such a great big brother like you. I'll love you!!! xoxox