I feel like I should write, but I don't want to. It may seem like when I write often it's because I'm having my difficult times. It's really the opposite though. The last few days have been rough. When I'm doing my worst, I don't write. I don't call anyone. I can't think. I don't do anything. I shut down. I literally shut down. Try to turn my emotions off and go numb. Sometimes I miss the numb stage.
I want to write about Easter, and what it meant to me this year. I want to write about what this 9th was/is like, 5 months of missing him. But like I said, it's been a rough few days. It's hard to keep my focus enough to write. So everything that I'm feeling now will have to wait to come out until I can sort through it.
Marcellus, I really really miss you today. That's all I really have to say. I just miss and love you so much my sweet, beautiful, wonderful son! xoxox