Saturday, August 4, 2012

Surviving River and contributing

Surviving River is a new pregnancy, infant, and child loss support site started by a lovely reader of mine in honor of here sweet baby girl, River. The site not only contains articles, but forums and groups for parents (and aunts/uncles, brothers/sisters) surviving the loss of a child to join. There's list of resources and a place for quotes. Surviving River has a facebook page and twitter. While River's mommy, Erin, is in Canada (and some content may be specifically geared for Canadian families) the site is for anybody worldwide that is surviving pregnancy, infant or child loss.

Today is the official launch day! See the new button I added over the right? So if you are looking for more online support while surviving the loss of your sweet baby, head on over to Surviving River and create an account. There's already a good number of articles up and some forum topics and groups set up.

And one of those articles is written by me! Erin emailed me to say she's been reading my blog and asked if I would like to contribute to Surviving River. My first thought was "Me?! Contribute? Write something for other parents going through loss?" She was mainly looking for an article of encouragement/support for those in the early stages of loss. That really made me think, "What do I have to say that could be of any benefit? I am still very much grieving my son and struggling with him not being here. How do I encourage someone else?"

But I started thinking....9 months. Last Saturday Marcellus turned 9 months old and this upcoming Thursday will mark 9 months since his death. While 9 months isn't that long (although at times it has felt like eternity), I have survived 9 months. In those early moments I didn't even think I would make it 9 minutes, 9 hours, 9 days, 9 weeks, let alone 9 months. But here I am. Almost 9 months without my son and somehow I am still living, I am surviving. So I wrote a letter to the newly bereaved. That letter isn't just for those in the very early stages. I have to admit that I need to listen to what I wrote as well. I need a reminder of how far I've come and what I thought was impossible.

You can read my article here. I just set up my account today, so right now I'm labeled as "contributor." I hope to make writing for Surviving River somewhat of a regular occurrence, and will always link here when I am writing over there.

I feel very honored to have been asked to contribute. That someone thinks I have something of value to share with other loss parents. That my words may encourage and support those going through the darkest moments of their lives.

It was also more difficult than I thought to get started. When I write here, I write more on impulse. I pour my heart out and send it off into cyberspace. I have no one in mind other than Marcellus and I just write. It was different to sit down and write about a specific topic with a specific audience in mind. Here I don't worry too much about how well the post is written or if people are going to like it. But that specific audience, parents going through the loss of their child, is very very important to me. I didn't want to let them down. To put out an article that wouldn't be helpful. That they would think "why did I even read that?" I guess part of my feelings there are a bit of a confidence issue thing. I'm just worried what I write isn't "good enough."

So, if you do take the time to read my article, can you let me know what you think?

Marcellus, Momma is helping out another mommy by writing for a new website. I hope I did a good job and made you proud. I know you and River have met and are probably even playing together. She must be so proud of her momma getting all this started! Whenever I do write for Surviving River, can you help me find the right words? The words to say that will be the most beneficial to other mommies and daddies missing their sweet babies. I miss you my love. I miss you so very much! I miss and love you more than my words can ever express. xoxox

1 comment:

  1. What an honor to be asked to share! I can understand why she asked you :)

    Here is my comment for your guest post. I tried commenting several times, but was unable to for some reason:

    "Oh, Morgan, this is beautiful. I am in tears. I especially loved this part: "Because when you smile, your child is smiling. When you laugh, your child is laughing. Our children may never have gotten to do these things on earth, but they are always with us and we live for them." We need not feel guilty for laughing and living because our little ones are laughing and living through us.

    And I loved this sentence too: "The new normal where you find a balance of actively grieving your child, honoring his/her life and living yours." It's so hard to navigate this journey of loss.

    I am sure this will bless newly bereaved parents, as well as those years out from their loss (like me). Very well-written and I love your bio box. :) Thank you."

    Love you. <3