Saturday, November 17, 2012

World Prematurity Day and my hero

Today is the second annual World Prematurity Day. You can check on the info on March of Dimes, see their Facebook page, and make sure to wear purple today in honor of all premature babies. Those little preemie babies are truly amazing.

Before Marcellus was born I didn't know much about premature birth. Why would I? I wasn't planning on having a preemie baby. When I first started to suspect I was having contractions the early morning of October 28th, 2011 I first thought, "no way these can be contractions! I'm only 28 weeks 5 days. This doesn't happen." But it does happen and it can happen it a normal healthy low-risk pregnancy. And they don't know why all the time. We have no answers as to why I went into labor.

I've written about what it was like for me to be a NICU Mom. I didn't get to see my baby for the first 5 hours of his life. I didn't get to hold him for around 30 hours. I didn't get to pick him up when I wanted to. I had to set an alarm to pump because he was way too premature to even think about breastfeeding yet. I had to see my baby hooked up to all those tubes, wires, and monitors. Learn the lingo and routine of the NICU. I had to leave him every night. But what about him...what about that tiny little baby in that isolette?

Well, he's my hero. So brave, so strong. What was it like for him? To be taken away from his parents immediately after birth. I'm sure he was scared. To not be able to be snuggled and held when he needed to. To have IVs, breathing equipment, a feeding tube. Monitors constantly going off. What was that like for him? And yet he fought. He grew. He did so much for us. I wish I could put into words what it did for us to hold him. He loved on us in a way only his little 3 pound self could. He squeaked those beautiful little preemie squeaks. He melted into us when we held him. He knew when we were there and he was never mad at us when we had to leave.

And then when he got sick. Oh how he fought. I am so proud of him. He fought for us. I know he did. Having gotten through the first anniversary and thinking a lot back to that day, November 9th, 2011 I realize how he was ready to go, but he stayed longer for us. He stayed to make sure we were able to do everything we needed to.  He stayed to make sure his mommy and daddy knew how he loves us.

In those 12 days on this earth that little baby did more for us than anyone else has in their lifetime. And he continues to. He continues to amaze me with all he has accomplished.

He truly is my hero.

Marcellus Robert, you couldn't make me more proud. You are the most amazing little baby ever.  You accomplished so much in your short life and you continue to accomplish things even after your death. Everything you put up with and still were content. I hope we were able to help you grow and accomplish those things, but the truth baby boy, is that you've done more for Daddy and I than we could ever do for you. You will always be my hero. I love you so very much! xoxox

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