Community

For the last few weeks I have linked up with Tesha from Tesha's Treasures. Tesha lost her sweet baby boy Jonathan at the end of January. She started this link up to help baby loss moms (BLM) connect and encourage each other.

The previous weeks I have just linked up with whatever I was already writing. This week, the link up, along with some beautiful pictures Tesha put together for Mother's Day (see the end of the post), gave me the thoughts for this post and it's all about a very special community.

The blog link up is an example of the type of community there is among BLM. An instant bond we wish we didn't have. An understanding of something no one should be able to comprehend. I "met" Tesha when she stopped by my blog a little while back, leaving a comment. I am slowly getting to know her through her blog, yet I feel like I know her so well already. Really all I need to know is that her Jonathan is in Heaven with my Marcellus and I feel like she can see into a piece of my soul.

I don't know much about the blog world beyond those written by parents that have suffered loss. But to me it seems like this online community of BLM is rather strong. And it's not just blogs. There are websites, facebook groups, forums, etc. where BLM can all connect. There are many moms that offer ways to help you memorialize your child offering there services for free or at a low cost (hopefully in the near future I can get a resources page together). There are non-profit organizations like A Heart to Hold and Molly Bears that provide comfort to families grieving their child. You can find many facebook pages for small shops run by BLM creating beautiful keepsakes to help you honor your child. For me, there's something extra special about getting a handmade piece from a fellow BLM, it makes it extra special to know that the creator of the piece can understand this horrible aspect of my life.

Often shop owners and blog writers host giveaways (Tesha's hosting one now) of loss related items. I've actually won a few beautiful things myself and am very thankful for them. Most recently I won a remembrance painting by Renee Lange from a giveaway at Small Bird Studios. I will definitely be sharing about it once it is finished. So excited! I won this beautiful necklace from Tiny Dream Shop (donated by Tayler's Treasures). It arrived early last week, great timing with all the big dates I had. The generosity and commitment of these shop owners is astounding. They are helping so many moms through their grief.

A closed facebook group I am in did a Mother's Day card exchange. It was so nice to get a card with words of encouragement from someone else that is there. Struggling herself, but able to encourage me at the same time. She even sent a lovely charm bracelet! It was so thoughtful. I also knew I was able to help her through what I know was a tough tough weekend. One little card making a difference.

Many close friendships have formed through this journey. Some of which have yet to be in person. Just weeks after losing Marcellus, I found Cooper's story written by his Momma on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. It was so similar to Marcellus's, so similar. I had to email her, I had to know what it was like for her. We instantly connected, forming a very strong bond. We now text regularly and I know she's there for me at all times. I never thought I could feel so close to, connected with, someone that I've never met in person. But I can honestly see our sons playing together in Heaven. I like to call the two of them heavenly BFFs. That is what can create a bond in a moment that is stronger than one that has taken years to build. Through her I have met a handful of other moms that have also seen the evil that is NEC take their children from them.

I also email back and forth with some BLM I know through other people. A friend of a friend sort of thing. But they are no longer just friends of friends. They are sisters on this walk with me. They are my friends, my support. They check in just to see how I'm doing, they offer their insight on this journey. They've been there on this rocky awful difficult road. They are still on this road, they have just learned how to navigate it. Reading stories of and talking with people that are further along on this journey gives me a glimpse into my future. They survived the first year, 5 years, 10 years...encouragement that I can survive as well. 

I have also met BLM that are local through my group. Those that I do get to see in person, that I can grab coffee or a meal with. Those that we need at least 4 hours to go for dinner because we have so much to talk about. When I'm spending time with these moms I feel comfortable, safe, and understood. Something I rarely feel, especially all at the same time. They can look at me and know how I'm feeling. They look at me and just see a mom. It's really the only time I feel like just a mom.

I guess all this is for me to say I'm so sorry if you are a part of this community. I'm so sorry if this is how we know each other, but I am so thankful to have your support. I love my fellow BLM, I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know how I would get through this without your encouragement, your example of how to move forward, your journey helping me through my own.  

I can only hope that my blog, my journey, Marcellus's story has/is/will help another mom grieving her precious child in some way.

Thank you Tesha for making this graphic for Marcellus!

Thank you Tesha for taking the time and love to write out my son's beautiful (and long) name!

Marcellus, there are lots of other babies up there with you in Heaven. That means there are lots of mommies here on earth missing their sweet baby boys and girls. So many mommies I would have never met if you were still here with us. I love these women so much, I miss their babies with them, but I wish I had no reason to know them. I wish they had no reason to know me or each other either. That there wasn't this community of mommies missing their babies. But here we are and there you are. So I band together with the other mommies and we continue on this journey together. Every time I meet another loss mom I don't think it's coincidence. I think it means you have met their baby in Heaven and you decided we should meet. I miss you and love you my sweet precious baby boy!!! xoxox