Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A year ago: October 30th, 2011

One thing I have dreaded about Marcellus's birthday coming and going is how short the 12 days between October 28th and November 9th will seem. And here we are, already two days past his birthday. Last year at this time he was 2 days old.

A year ago: Sunday, October 30th, 2011
Marcellus was 2 days old. He had a busy day that day. Lots of visitors, k-care with Mommy in the morning, k-care with Daddy that night. His Grandma, Auntie, and cousin left MN that afternoon for the long drive to NC. They just hopped in the van and started driving, didn't even print off directions. We all couldn't wait for them to get there and to meet Marcellus, but it wouldn't be until the next day.

Dear Marcellus, 

Everyday you were here, was special in it's own way. Here are some of my memories from a year ago, when you were two days old.

Before Daddy got back that morning Mommy went to the NICU to see you. Plus I had to bring your milk to the nurses. Although I wished Daddy could have been there all the time, I did love to visit you just me. Mommy and Marcellus time. 

Daddy got back the hospital that morning, I think maybe around 8am or so. After he got back we went to the NICU. We were there for your 9am touch time.  I got to hold you again that morning. It felt just as good as the first time I held you. Daddy was in the NICU with us when I held you. He took video and pictures. He talked to us and read to us. 
Here you are getting your bubble care during your 9am touch time. And not liking your head massage!
 You had a handful of visitors that day. You were one popular little boy! Daddy left to run errands. He got a lot of things for Mommy. Mommy needed nursing shirts and comfy clothes. While he was gone Dr. Fuentes, my PhD advisor, came to meet you. She brought you flowers and a balloon. I took her to see you. She just kept commenting on how you were such a beautiful baby. 

Audrey also came that afternoon. She already got to meet you the day you were born, but wanted to see how you were doing. You were under the billi lights by then. You were just a little jaundiced. She was looking forward to when you got bigger and bouncing you in her lap. You would have loved Audrey. She did a lot for us. 

Marggie and Pedro (and Fabian and Pedro’s mom) came to see you that day too. They brought Mommy and Daddy lunch from Panera. That was really nice of them. We visited for a little bit in my hospital room and told them about what all happened when you were born and all about you. They brought you a gift too. I think one outfit must have been Fabian’s. We were so excited that you guys were going to be friends. After a little bit, we took them to see you. I took Marggie first and then Daddy took Pedro. Daddy and Pedro talked a lot about what it means to be a father and the responsibilities of a family. Daddy was excited to show you off to another daddy. 

That evening Beth and Jeff came and brought us a homemade dinner. It was nice to have something homemade.  Beth got to meet you the night before, but Jeff couldn’t come because he was working. Daddy was really looking forward to introducing you to Jeff. Jeff was in awe of you. He kept saying how happy Daddy looked as a father and how proud he was of you. Jeff said he hoped someday he could be as proud of his kids as Daddy was of you. When they left the NICU Jeff gave Daddy a big hug. Daddy says he really felt like a daddy at that point and it felt really really good for him to show you off. 

Mommy was having troubles with pumping that night. I think my milk was coming in and it made it painful and difficult to pump. I worked hard to get it right. I didn’t want to get an infection or plugged up and ruin my chances of getting milk for you. I hate that I spent so much time on that with the nurse rather than just going to see you. I was in the room way too much. WAY too much. I’m sorry I didn’t come see you more.
That night Daddy got to hold you for the first time. He kept telling me that he didn’t need to hold you. That I could have all the k-care times. But I knew he needed to hold you and you need him to hold you too. You needed your time with Daddy. I was SO excited for him to get to hold you. I’ll let Daddy say more about what he was like for him to hold you that first time, but I knew he was excited. He didn’t even really seem nervous at all. I thought maybe he would be because Daddy hasn’t held too many babies. And with how small you were. But he was a natural; he was definitely in daddy-mode. It warmed my heart so much to see my boys together. To see you snuggled up on your daddy’s chest. You instantly relaxed, you knew where you were. You knew you were with your daddy.  

Your first time snuggling with Daddy! The pictures a little blurry, because Mommy is not a good photographer. I feel bad that a lot of your pictures with Daddy are blurry. I chose to post this one though because you two are rocking out. You made the rocker sign while Daddy was holding you and we thought it was pretty funny, especially since you were already rocking the shades from being under the billi lights that day. 

Here's what Daddy said about what it was like to hold you that night, "Holding you for the first time was the best experience I was surprised to have.   I did not know that you would be with me that night.  It was a surprise.  So when they sat me down in the chair and got you ready to come to me I was so nervous and excited.  After what seemed to take forever I saw you come towards me and they placed me on my chest.  I remember how warm you felt on my chest and how comfortable you made me.  During all the delivery and hospitalization and taking care of Mommy I was so razzled and my head was spinning, but when you melted into me all that fell away.  It was just you and I and we stayed as father and son, that experience repeated throughout all the K-cares.   K-caring you was such a good time for daddy because no matter how busy I was you made it all better."  

Not only did I love holding you baby boy, but I absolutely loved seeing your Daddy hold you. You two were so perfect together and I am so lucky to have you both. Miss and love you my little rocker boy! xoxox

1 comment:

  1. Love how you are doing this Morgan. You are such a good mommy! Praying for you I know this is a difficult time.